Vernon Vine

Say Something

Rania Jones

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Her eyes were bleeding with pain, avoiding all eye contact possible with the boy who only slightly sat away from her. He brought his hand up to her chin, ignoring the tugs at his heart over the fact she had flinched under his touch. “I still care about you,” he hesitated. He wanted to avoid all cost of hurting her more than he already had.

He watched as her brown eyes gaze up at him and for a moment, it’s as if nothing had changed. In her eyes, he still is the boy she fell so carelessly in love with. Perhaps in his, she still is the beloved girl he knew to protect. Maybe, there was still hope that this would survive. All of this, this love.

“Say something,” he urges her after several minutes of silence passed. He pauses, more seconds of silence. Tick tock. He closes his eyes, rubbing his temples for a moment before continuing.

“I’m giving up on you, please say something!”

However, she didn’t know exactly what to say. She, too, was confused about how she felt. She knew she felt a heavy amount of pain in her heart, maybe even an ounce of relief. Pain in a boy she was afraid of letting go of. Relief in a boy whom she thought she loved so much giving up on her. She continued to pick at the ends of her fingertips, lips trembling slightly, and eyes quickly watered with salty tears. She was absolutely terrified.

“Perhaps, you giving up isn’t as grim as we may think,” she murmured. Tears streamed down her cheeks. She knew if she looked up she would feel remorse and regret for what she had said. However, she did not feel this way because she didn’t mean what she had said. Truthfully, she meant every word of it. She feared that she would feel remorse and regret due letting go a huge part of her life, knowing that change was something she has shown to struggle with often.

“What are you saying?” He asked, his eyes bled with desolation, smiling wearily at the girl in front of him. His mother had always told him to keep his head high because ‘big boys, don’t cry’ and as sexist as her comment was, he did everything he could to abide by it.

He watched as the girl whom he loved with every fragment of his heart wipe the tears from her eyes. She bit her lip softly, meeting met his eyes. “Logan, I need to move on.” His world stop as he listened to the six words he had tried to avoid since he fell for her. The pain came in waves, he couldn’t breathe. “Why?”

“I am absolutely significantly terrified. I am 19, you’re 17. I keep thinking that maybe–”

Logan cut her off, crashing his lips with hers. He couldn’t help but think about how something so difficult can feel so right. Pulling apart, he looked at her. Her deep brown eyes meeting his green eyes. He noticed how vulnerable she looked.

“Don’t think at all.” He mumbled, he brought his thumb up to her lip, he gently caressed it. He watched how she responded to his touch, almost automatically leaning towards his touch.

They laid side by side in silence, their beating hearts echoed off the pale blue walls. They realized no matter how hard they tried not to see it, they knew they weren’t good for each other and that was it, it hurt too much to say anything.

As minutes soon turned into hours, Logan was still wide awake. He knew the girl he adored so much was still soundly asleep in his arms. He grew envious of the brunette who was capable of falling asleep rather so easily. His thoughts drift off into the moment he knew he would lose her. Perhaps it wasn’t now, however he knew eventually the day will come. His grip tightened around her waist, in fear that at any moment she would slip from his grip.

“What are you doing to me?” He whispered. The last four words that escaped his mouth crumbled his heart into pieces. It is something he never wanted to admit, however finally he had. “Hurting me, I presume.”

 

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